It has come to my attention that in certain unswept corners of the Internet I have acquired a reputation for knowing everything. This is untrue. I have forgotten the specific gravity of feldspar, and I never learned how to program COBOL. My Welsh is also terribly rusty. Everything else, I know.

Aaron Haspel | Posted July 2, 2003 @ 7:48 PM | Navel-Gazing

9 Responses to “Demurral”

  1. 1 1. Ken Goldstein

    It it makes you feel any better, I don’t really think you’re that smart, and was actually just making fun of you. I hope this clears the matter up.

  2. 2 2. Aaron Haspel

    You mean…you mean…you weren’t actually serious?

  3. 3 3. Aaron Haspel

    Now that depends. How much can you afford?

  4. 4 4. Bill Kaplan

    Truly Aaron is a pygmy among midgets. He is associated with genius the way methane is associated with cows. As Cicero remarked about a political rival , He is every womans man and every mans woman, feldspar notwithstanding.

    Hawddamor ar gwybodus popeth!

  5. 5 5. Ian

    You know, Aaron, you’re looking at it the wrong way. Whatever you charge, none of us can afford to not buy them, correct?


  6. 6 6. Floyd McWilliams

    How much do you charge for taped lectures?

  7. 7 7. Michael Krantz

    For those of us who have known and loved Aaron for many years, it is especially gratifying to see the awesome power of the Internet granting international reach to his hard-earned but hitherto largely local reputation as an arrogant blowhard.

    He really does know quite a lot of stuff. But he thinks “Pulp Fiction,” “100 Years Of Solitude” and “whitechocolatespaceegg” all suck, so he doesn’t know *everything.*

  8. 8 8. Deb

    Gosh, since you Know Everything, maybe you should skip the poetry and politics and do an advice column.

    Dear Aaron,
    My husband has this bad habit of….what do you think I should do?

  9. 9 9. Aaron Haspel

    Bill, dammit, I told you my Welsh was rusty.

    Deb: Advice columnists are distinguished not by knowing everything, but by knowing nothing at all.

    Michael: Garcia Marquez and Liz Phair have had no ink here, but I leave who knows what about Pulp Fiction to the reader’s judgment.

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