Looks like my “eight-page, ultrasuede-covered ‘photo album'” invitation to Puffy’s post-MTV Video Music Awards party got lost in the mail, although it’s not clear to me how even the U.S. Postal Service could lose an item like that. Damn, and I was stoked to bust out my flyest shit too:

The Dress Code Must Be Respected!

If your shoes are scuffed you’re going to have a problem. If you’re wearing jeans, you’re on the wrong track.

Pull out the flyest shit in your closet, or have your stylist pull something for you.

Definition of fly shit: The top designers i.e. Sean-John Collection, Gucci, Dolce & Gabanna, YSL, Couture, Versace.

Think the Oscars. Think the person you want to marry is inside; think of me at the GFDA Awards, Kentucky Derby, my New Year’s Eve party in Miami or my Hamptons White Party.

Grooming:

Fellas: Haircuts, Shape-ups and clean shaves are a must. Ladies: Hair-dos, waxing, manicures and pedicures are also a must.

P.S. DO NOT DISTURB THE SEXY!

OK, I won’t. But can’t I at least taunt the sexy? Or mildly irritate the sexy? Or have my stylist mildly irritate the sexy? Please?

Aaron Haspel | Posted August 29, 2002 @ 7:26 PM | General

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