{"id":526,"date":"2004-01-18T20:24:19","date_gmt":"2004-01-19T00:24:19","guid":{"rendered":"\/?p=526"},"modified":"2006-08-09T12:47:34","modified_gmt":"2006-08-09T16:47:34","slug":"a-critics-dictionary","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.godofthemachine.com\/?p=526","title":{"rendered":"A Critic&#8217;s Dictionary"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Is it possible to review books and movies without resorting to the following?<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><i>It&#8217;s a true story.<\/i> I&#8217;ll spare you Oscar Wilde on life imitating art, because I suspect a large percentage of Oscar&#8217;s epigrams came from scouring the papers for journalese that he could stand on its head. Invert a clich\u00c3\u00a9, produce a witticism. It&#8217;s a neat trick and I&#8217;ve used it myself, but it&#8217;s on the lazy side.\n<p>Sorry. I was talking about true stories. We have two words in English, realism and reality, for the excellent reason that they don&#8217;t mean the same thing. The lamest possible defense for an inconceivable plot is that it actually happened. Inconceivable events happen all the time. Fiction wants plausibility, not reality: for reality I can ride the subway. Of course, the less plausible the &#8220;real-life&#8221; event, the likelier it is to be turned into a book or a movie. (On a side note, have you ever noticed that the more sordid the work, the higher the praise for its, usually, &#8220;gritty&#8221; realism?)<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li><i>I laughed I cried.<\/i> The Neanderthal version; &#8220;I was moved&#8221; is a slightly more evolved form. I cry at the movies. I cry at good movies, like <span class=\"booktitle\">Babette&#8217;s Feast<\/span> and <span class=\"booktitle\">Brief Encounter<\/span>; at good-bad movies, like <span class=\"booktitle\">Love Story<\/span> and <span class=\"booktitle\">It&#8217;s a Wonderful Life<\/span>; and at irredeemably bad movies, like <span class=\"booktitle\">Brian&#8217;s Song<\/span> and <span class=\"booktitle\">Backdraft<\/span> (don&#8217;t ask). This fact should interest no one and doesn&#8217;t much interest me. The point is, it&#8217;s easy to make the audience cry. Acquaint them with a sympathetic character and kill him, preferably her, off, preferably young, preferably with a lingering but picturesque disease. (Unfortunately tuberculosis is almost extinct. Consumption would have been the perfect choice: we make shift now with leukemia and sundry non-disfiguring cancers.) Cue swelling music, Rachmaninoff&#8217;s 2nd Piano Concerto or Pachelbel&#8217;s Canon or something of that sort. Pass out handkerchiefs.\n<p>Laughing is more reliable. But only a little. <span class=\"booktitle\">The Women<\/span> is a funny movie, but the one line in it that always makes me laugh is a throwaway: a woman passes through a room with her daughter, saying, &#8220;And don&#8217;t think I didn&#8217;t hear that Princeton boy call me an old grizzlepuss!&#8221; Now I happen to find archaic insults funny. I would hesitate, however, to recommend the movie on that basis.<\/p>\n<\/li>\n<li><i>Surprise!<\/i> Nothing is worth seeing or reading that isn&#8217;t worth seeing or reading twice, and the second time you know how it turns out. Dickens wrote three endings for <i>Great Expectations<\/i>; Hollywood tests movies with alternate endings all the time. What happens in the last two pages or the last thirty seconds just cannot make that great a difference. The chick in <i>The Crying Game<\/i> is really a dude, and Kevin Spacey&#8217;s Keyser Soze, OK? If you&#8217;re watching a movie or reading a book to find out what&#8217;s going to happen, I suggest, with all due respect, a more productive use of time, like filing your corns or catching up on the details of Britney&#8217;s annulment.\n<\/li>\n<li><i>Nuanced, edgy, hommage, longueur, intimate<\/i> (adjective and verb, also <i>intimation<\/i>), <i>harrowing, dazzling<\/i> (my eyes!), <i>lyrical.<\/i><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Thank you for your cooperation.<\/p>\n<p>(<b>Update:<\/b> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.artsjournal.com\/aboutlastnight\/archives20040118.shtml#67098\">Terry Teachout<\/a> comments, about suspense, and he has a point. Suspense is a joy of its own, and I could certainly be read as suggesting otherwise. I want to know how it ends as much as the next cultureblogger. But you shouldn&#8217;t be in it strictly for the ending, or even mostly, even the first time.)<\/p>\n<p>(<b>More:<\/b> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.futurballa.blogspot.com\/2004_01_18_futurballa_archive.html#107478563152242043\">Rick Coencas<\/a> also stands up for suspense, sort of.)   <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Is it possible to review books and movies without resorting to the following? It&#8217;s a true story. I&#8217;ll spare you Oscar Wilde on life imitating art, because I suspect a large percentage of Oscar&#8217;s epigrams came from scouring the papers for journalese that he could stand on its head. Invert a clich\u00c3\u00a9, produce a witticism. <a href='https:\/\/www.godofthemachine.com\/?p=526' class='excerpt-more'>[&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-526","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-literature","category-10-id","post-seq-1","post-parity-odd","meta-position-corners","fix"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.godofthemachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/526","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.godofthemachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.godofthemachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.godofthemachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.godofthemachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=526"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.godofthemachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/526\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.godofthemachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=526"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.godofthemachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=526"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.godofthemachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=526"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}