{"id":90,"date":"2002-08-29T19:26:48","date_gmt":"2002-08-29T23:26:48","guid":{"rendered":"\/?p=90"},"modified":"2002-08-29T19:26:48","modified_gmt":"2002-08-29T23:26:48","slug":"puffys-rules","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.godofthemachine.com\/?p=90","title":{"rendered":"Puffy&#8217;s Rules"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Looks like my &#8220;eight-page, ultrasuede-covered &#8216;photo album'&#8221; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.thesmokinggun.com\/archive\/puffymtv.html\">invitation<\/a> to <a href=\"http:\/\/www.nypost.com\/entertainment\/55984.htm\">Puffy&#8217;s post-MTV Video Music Awards party<\/a> got lost in the mail, although it&#8217;s not clear to me how even the U.S. Postal Service could <em>lose<\/em> an item like that. Damn, and I was stoked to bust out my flyest shit too:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>The Dress Code Must Be Respected! <\/p>\n<p>If your shoes are scuffed you&#8217;re going to have a problem. If you&#8217;re wearing jeans, you&#8217;re on the wrong track. <\/p>\n<p>Pull out the flyest shit in your closet, or have your stylist pull something for you. <\/p>\n<p>Definition of fly shit: The top designers i.e. Sean-John Collection, Gucci, Dolce &#038; Gabanna, YSL, Couture, Versace. <\/p>\n<p>Think the Oscars. Think the person you want to marry is inside; think of me at the GFDA Awards, Kentucky Derby, my New Year&#8217;s Eve party in Miami or my Hamptons White Party. <\/p>\n<p>Grooming: <\/p>\n<p>Fellas: Haircuts, Shape-ups and clean shaves are a must. Ladies: Hair-dos, waxing, manicures and pedicures are also a must.<\/p>\n<p>P.S. DO NOT DISTURB THE SEXY!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>OK, I won&#8217;t. But can&#8217;t I at least taunt the sexy? Or mildly irritate the sexy? Or have my stylist mildly irritate the sexy? Please?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Looks like my &#8220;eight-page, ultrasuede-covered &#8216;photo album&#8217;&#8221; invitation to Puffy&#8217;s post-MTV Video Music Awards party got lost in the mail, although it&#8217;s not clear to me how even the U.S. Postal Service could lose an item like that. Damn, and I was stoked to bust out my flyest shit too: The Dress Code Must Be <a href='https:\/\/www.godofthemachine.com\/?p=90' class='excerpt-more'>[&#8230;]<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-90","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","category-1-id","post-seq-1","post-parity-odd","meta-position-corners","fix"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.godofthemachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.godofthemachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.godofthemachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.godofthemachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.godofthemachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=90"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.godofthemachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/90\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.godofthemachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=90"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.godofthemachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=90"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.godofthemachine.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=90"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}