All solicitations guaranteed overheard.

Frank: “Spare five bucks so I can go get high?” Whimsical: “I’m trying to get together the down payment on a Gulfstream.” Proletarian: “Help the homeless?” Fiduciary: “I borrowed ten bucks and I need to pay it back.” Aggressive (works only on the subway): “Either you give me money now or I play my tenor saxophone solo from outer space.” Bold: “Got fifty bucks?” Meek: “Could you please spare a nickel…a penny?” Nostalgic: “Brother, can you spare a dime?” Therapeutic: “Spare some change and improve your karma.” Primal: “I HAVE AIDS HELP ME PLEEEEEASE!” Hopeless: “Want to hear a poem I wrote?”

Aaron Haspel | Posted July 13, 2003 @ 4:16 PM | Culture,Language

3 Responses to “Cyrano Solicits”

  1. 1 1. Eddie Thomas

    A friend of mine reports that the homeless in our area have taken to asking for exact, odd amounts like 87 cents. Why that is I’m not sure.

  2. 2 2. Aaron Haspel

    I’ve seen that approach too, although I forgot to include it (precise, perhaps?). Soliciting is like advertising: first you have to get their attention, and it worked on that level, right? An odd amount also implies that you want something in particular, and everyone can sympathize with that.

  3. 3 3. Felicity McCarthy

    "Spare a dollar so I can buy a bible?" uttered by a gent dressed all in spikes. Category: bizarre?

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