The students

Angelina Staccato: Michele Catalano
Forrest Swisher: Agenda Bender
Wing-Ding Weisenheimer: Ken Goldstein
Gilbert Scrabbler: Steven Den Beste
Woolworth Van Husen III: Felix Salmon
Purdy Spackle: Kim du Toit
Chuck Farley: Stephen Green
French Lambretta: Pejman Yousefzadeh (fantasy)
Franklin Furter: Pejman Yousefzadeh (reality)
Madison Jones: Eddie Thomas
Faun Rosenberg: Eve Tushnet
Amana Peppridge: Glenn Reynolds
“Alphabits”: Salam Pax
Howard Havermeyer: Cinderella Bloggerfeller
Lawrence Kroger: James Lileks

The teachers

Mr. Vernon Wormer: Emperor Misha
Mr. Dwight Mannsburden: A.C. Douglas
Miss Dolores Panatella: Susannah Breslin
Miss Violet Coolidge: Mika Cooper
Miss Marilyn Armbruster: Dr. Weevil

(Update: Wing-Ding comments.)