Mar 192005

Anyone who writes so intimately, not to say voyeuristically, about my personal life surely deserves a link or two. And a restraining order.

For the record, I wear my hair “cropped close” because I am bald.

  27 Responses to “Hey Sailor”

  1. You may wear your hair cropped-close because of baldness– but how do you explain the piles of muscle-building magazines?

  2. Suspects baby. Always looking for suspects.

  3. Aaron,

    Not to worry you (or me), but…

    If you recall the beautiful Polish and Ukranian waitresses, at a certain bar in Manhattan, where you can still smoke…

    Well, I asked my niece (who was with us that night) why she thought I couldn’t get anywhere with them…

    Her response…

    They thought you were my boyfriend.


    It must be those cowboy boots.

    Or the closely cropped hair.

    I am so not going there with you again.

  4. Vintage cowboy boots??? So, uhhh…how much do yall give for a pair of those, anyway?

  5. I am so young and you are all OLD! Hahahahaha.


  6. Just how does Aaron do on the Judy Garland test?

  7. I just shudder at the thought of those poor innocent Stats Inc. fantasy baseball newbies who got thrown into the tank with Riebling…

  8. Judy Garland test:
    For purity of experimentt it should be given by genuine gays.

  9. Don’t forget about his favorite scarf

  10. Hahahahaahhahaha. I just realized, I have never known a friend, or really encountered anyone socially, who has worn a scarf since they graduated from the druggery of their mother’s clothing determinism. 🙁 more’s the pity?

  11. Once again provincial New Yorkers have defined a cultural trend by what their friend from college and five guys named Fareed standing in front of a nightclub are doing this week. It seems like metrosexuals are what used to be called, "educated", "curious" or "aware of aesthetics". And as for "Queer Eye"–thanks bunches. You’ve just anilihated the efforts of a million young women who are desperately trying to get their boyfriends to believe that knowing how to dance and not wearing sweatpants outside after five p.m. does NOT make them homosexual.

  12. Evilyn,

    It’s funny to see how many "Queer Eye" posters there are in the NYC Subway.

    Who exactly are the advertisers targeting? Is there a "Queer Eye" demographic?

    I don’t own or watch TV, but I can’t imagine that any man (gay or straight) would watch such a show.

    Unless, of course, he’s a Faux Mo.

    And there’s this…

    How is that there are millions of single women who still go out with such cultural dullards and taste-illiterates?

    Oh yeah, it’s called "chemistry."


    At least I can dance.

  13. I find that sending mixed messages to women, while maintaining a sense of humor, AND while demonstrating an independance and confidence of action will always get you laid. Especially with older women.

    And I dress in sweat pants and tee shirts 🙁

  14. When you say "older women" are you talking, what, fifteen?

  15. Tommy: until they see your spelling errors.

  16. I wasn’t talking at all, Evilyn…

    Women can’t see spelling errors in speech, Tatyana.

    Oho, this is such fun, defending myself, because I am such an iritated
    and irational and insecur male. And so much so in fact, I am self projecting this owned sense of my own inadequacy upon myself because of your evil and hurtful and hateful comments. In fact, I doubt I’ll ever have sex again.

    Does this make me faux mo?

  17. Evil, hurtful, hateful? Heavens. All I meant was that the whole mixed message thing etc. was mostly attractive to young girls.
    "He gathered a group of girls around him through the simple expedient of trying to ignore them" I won’t even say who I’m quoting lest I die of shame but I do remember high school.
    "He’s just got this special way of ignoring me"… Maybe I put it too harshly, but then again I’m very insecur myself.

  18. EG, please, don’t waste it: Tommy boy just needs a hug, a blanket and a teddy bear. And [possibly] a Playboy.

    OT: great blog, especially the last(memoir) entry. Do you mind if I plug it @ 2Blowhards?

  19. *hugs playboy*

  20. A few days ago, I thought about posting something like, "This site has become a fetid bog of inactivity. I wouldn’t have complained except that slow or rare posting was something Aaron would often criticize harshly in other bloggers, once upon a time…"

    I thought better of it upon reflection that this stuff is pretty complex and important, etc., etc. I then considered the complexity and difficulty of the work that others had, of yore, been so allegedly "tardy" about posting… Then, I realized the complexity of these very posting considerations, mulled it over, discussed it with colleagues, then published it, got peer-reviewed, wrote a book, and then retired to the south of France… That was when I decided it was time to post my complaints.

  21. *hugs playboy*

  22. yeah, so meanwhile,where is your fucking post about self-symmetry?

  23. Jim, you didn’t answer my question(s) from two posts back. What you doing sitting on your hands. Go go go.

  24. I am an uniformed and unhip semi-shut in, so forgive me for asking
    what does *hugs playboy* um…"mean"?

  25. Tommy,

    I need more stuff to react to!!
    (My position being painfully obvious to readers thus far.)

  26. It means Tommy is showing his love for his magazines. Statements inside asterisks denote actions in net-parlance.

    At the risk of piling on, I have literally grown a beard since the last substantial post.

  27. I actually meant from two posts back by Aaron, the one about how he didn’t invent the theory, just clarified it. At the end I wrote a couple posts and one of them was to Jim. There is plenty there I think.

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